Sleepy Town

For as long as i can remember, i have had very graphic, very realistic and very exhausting dreams.  I can recognize them for what they are as they are happening and change them, make decisions or even wake myself up. 

 I remember the very first one i had.  It was before i could drive, but after i was ten i’d say. I was at a concert and the singer asked me to come on stage so i did.  I remember looking out into the audience and seeing my parents and feeling an awful sense of dread right before i decided that i was going to disown them for the duration of the dream.  they were no longer my parents, just ppl in the audience.  i sat in the lap of the lead singer and he had on a warm yellow shirt and he held me to his chest and i could feel heat from his body.  actual body heat. 

since then, almost every night is filled w/ color, battle, love, hate, you name it, it’s there.  i love my dreams.  especially when i make all out decisions in them. but there’s also bad w/ the good.  i can feel things that feel good and bad.  pain and pleasure. 

so tomorrow is my first visit w/ a new therapist.  one who specializes in dream translation (or whatever you call it).  i’m both excited and irritated.  i hate having to go see new people.  i’m not a big fan of change.  i like routine.  and, i have to go see her at the end of the work day.  so i’m going to be brain dead and expected to open up about myself to a new person. 

knowing what i know about myself, that’s a lot to ask.  but i figure that this blog will be a good place for me to let it all hang out, as it were. at least let it hang a little.